Forgive…Never
When you read the title, ‘Forgive…Never’ what immediately came to your mind? Did you think of someone who hurt you and you refuse to forgive them? Or, did you think of someone you hurt and refuses to forgive you?
What is forgiveness anyway?
Many feel forgiveness is condoning someone’s actions or letting someone ‘get away’ with something without consequences. From a Biblical perspective, both of those perspectives are wrong.
Romans 6:23 makes it very clear that someone has to ‘pay’ for the wrong doing. “For the wages of sin is death,” Sin is missing the mark. The mark is perfection which we all know is not possible to achieve on our own. Therefore, we all must pay the penalty for our sin which according the Scripture is death, physical death, an extreme penalty for sure.
In the Scripture just referenced, did you noticed there’s a comma after the word ‘death’ not a period which means there's more. The Scripture goes on to explain that while a physical death is required, that payment has already been paid. Here’s the rest of Romans 6:23,
“but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” There’s the period meaning that’s it, the penalty is paid, period.
So, what does that mean?
It means we are given the gift of forgiveness even though we didn’t earn it or deserve it. A penalty was still paid on our behalf through Christ’s death on the cross, so no one ‘got a free pass.’ There was a massive penalty or consequence paid, the death of Christ Jesus.
Now, take that same thought and apply it to the person who wronged you. You were hurt and there needs to be restitution for their action, someone needs to pay a price.
Here’s the reality, whether we like it or not, that price was paid not only for all of our sins, but also for their sins against God and against you and me.
He [Jesus] is the propitiation [payment] for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world - 1 John 2:2
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. - Romans 3:23-25
The ultimate payment, once for all sin for all time, yours, mine, and everyone else’s whether against God or against us.
So, what does forgiveness really mean then?
It means that when we forgive we are simply saying that we are accepting the fact that Christ’s payment covers their wrong doing. You are not condoning their actions, you aren’t necessarily going to forget their actions. You are simply saying that you are willing to put it behind you.
So, what does that mean going forward?
It can mean the relationship is completely restored, or it can mean the relationship is restored but there are going to be a few new rules to ensure you are not hurt again. It may mean that even though you have forgiven them, they may not be willing to forgive themselves or to change their actions and you need to walk away. However, by forgiving them, you are at least giving them the option to restore the relationship.
As a side note, keep in mind the hurt they did, they may not even know they did it. While on the cross, Christ was well aware of that when he said,
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” - Luke 23:34
Forgiveness, pure and simple, is really more for you than it is for them. It’s the release of a burden you don’t want or need to carry any longer, so let it go.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9
